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Month: October 2014

"Hey Mr Yellow, Welcome to my Home", said Mr. Tumor

"Hey Mr Yellow, Welcome to my Home", said Mr. Tumor

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The liver begins to dysfunction. His hands and legs which is other wise called”ducts” is blocked by the monstorous tumor.The monstor has been feeding on the liver for over four years now, and has now become a gaint.  Large and huge, strong and fierce he seems to be in full form to win all battles. A battle in which he would finally conquer not only the liver, his home, but also the neighboiring kingdoms of the stomach, pancreas and kidneys. And finally when he does emerge victorius, the great human body would have one great fall.

Today he has befreinded the yellow man within the liver, ” the bile”. The bile no longer listens to his master the liver, and has become the slave of Mr. Tumor. Let loose he is running around the place leaving his yellow trace everywhere. “What’s gong on around us? Why this sudden deluge of yellowness everywhere?”, ask one and all…

And the monstor just grins….and says, “Your time is up buddy”.

Its all over now. Dads days are numbered. He is severely jaundiced and weak. I will be leaving in a day or so to be by his side in the last few days. Not sure when “L” and gang would land from california..But I am there, and would be there till he succumbs….

Did you say Cancer? OMG !!!

Did you say Cancer? OMG !!!

Cancer

Being diagnosed with cancer comes with a large share of traumas. One of course is about your physical being- the treatment you may need to go through, the prognosis, the cost of the medication which really isnt that easy on the pocket, and the  statistics about survival rates. All these play on our minds, making the diagnosis the scariest thing ever. Another important thing attached with cancer is the social stigma attached to it.

Dad was diagnosed with colorectal cancer in Mar 2010. At the onset itself the doctors made it clear to us that colorectal cancer at an advanced stage doesnt have a promising future. But nevertheless we could try surgery followed by a couple of rounds of chemotherapy to help fight the diseases.

When the news spread among our relatives and friends, I was suprised at some of their reactions. A particular relative of ours, came out with this statment ” Oh he has cancer, so his life is cancelled.” i was like Whattttt!!!!!!! please give him a chance to fight it out. I mean I know it is a terrible disease, but we need to sometimes also be positive guys.

For a few other people, dad’s diagnosis was a juicy piece of gossip. Their notion was that, he got it cause that was his fate and he must surely have done something “not so good” in his life to get it. To add to this thought of theirs was that they would never contract this ailment as the are blessed souls.

Well to all these people, my dad fought the disease with a bang. With an intial prognosis of just 2 months more, he defied all logic and fought for 5 years. However, a wounded soldier he is now and is living his last few days. He is a fighter what a fighter he is.

Proud of you dad..

Cancer – When he creeps and spreads his tentacles!!!

Cancer – When he creeps and spreads his tentacles!!!

downloadIt has been almost 4 and a half years since dad was diagnosed with colorectal cancer. I still vivdly remember that day. I had called mom from Russia(where I was briefly posted) enquiring abt his health check up. She couldnt say it aloud as old Gran was around. So she spelled it,” Dad has C-A-N-C-E-R” of the Colon!!! It was from then till date, cancer has slowly and steadily crept into all our lives, not only dad’s.

After umpteen upheavels, the end is nearing. Yes, he has exhausted all treatment options.A part of me tells me that its ok, the sooner the better, the end was anyways inevitable. But a small little corner in my heart cries out, – to hold on to dad. To not let go.I have never been really close to dad. But yet at this moment I feel and sense that there is a bond, a relationship beyond words between a father and child.

I want to be able to hold his hand when he closes his eyes. Will I be able to ? Will I have the strength to endure this? How will I get through this phase?May the lord be with me and give me the strenth.
I shall do another blog someday on my relationship with my parents. For now its just the anxiety of having to go through a painful death of a loved one.