Bonding With Your Child- When Do you Do it? #AtoZChallenge

Bonding with your child is building that emotional connect. It is when you and your child are together, doing practical things or whatsoever, bringing about a wonderful connection. Being the mom of two little ones, I spend hours doing things with them. So between all my daily tasks and work, and the kids school and extracurricular activities, there are activities thrown in. From craft work, to gardening or, simply just lazing on the bed with a book in hand, the girls and I love these moments as we giggle, laugh and smile away.

Bonding is essential to create lasting memories

But when I look back at my childhood days, I don’t remember my Amma doing any of the activities that I do, with my kids. Yet, there is a beautiful bond that she has created, and memories that would last a lifetime. Those were the days before the great internet revolution. Those were the days, well before the digital era. Those were the days before fast-food culture could take us by storm.

My earliest memories of Amma are of her being the busiest person in the household. I remember the kitchen lights going on at 5 in the morning, when Amma would begin her day. It would go off only by 11 in the night, well after the entire family had retired to bed. Yet, there wasn’t a moment when she complained, looked hassled or looked tired.

Joy in everyday things

On most afternoons, Amma would be busy making home-made snacks and savories. I would sit on the kitchen platform, as she narrated folklore and mythological tales of kings and Gods. I distinctly remember the months of February and March every year, when Amma would prepare rice crispies. I would be put in charge to guard the neatly laid out rice crispies that were to be dried in sun, from crows, before being stored in airtight containers. Sundays meant an elaborate oil bath, and as she would comb my hair, seated on a mat in the warm afternoon sun, we would listen to the radio and hum away old Hindi songs together. Somewhere she did it all so seamlessly. It wasn’t like as though she had set aside some time for us kids. She integrated it all in her daily life amidst all the other things she had to do.

Bonding isn’t about big gestures

And that’s what probably Amma did. It isn’t about doing elaborate activities together. It is in simple everyday stuff that we do, that make up our life. I don’t think Amma waited for any special occasion. She just blended it all so well, and the emotional connection just materialized.

15 comments

  1. There are two reasons I connected so well with this piece. For one, I am the kind of mom who doesn’t know exactly how to craft or do things to consciously bond with my child. I sit and read and she sits by me and does the same. I’ve wondered if this is enough. The second reason I liked the piece is because of the way you describe your mom. That’s precisely my own mom. Even today I turn to her for every little thing in my life. And it’s because of the quiet almost unseen gestures she has done over the years. Bonding is as you say, what lies in the gestures, big or small.

  2. Loved your post as I could see my mum there. She never played games with us but blended so well when we were around her. Little chats, conversations and moments of joy made our days. Mums have a way, isn’t it? Lovely post!

  3. I remember the carom board games and the innumerable antakshari sessions on our terrace during power cuts (which were frequent – I lived in UP, you know.)
    Could have bonded more, I don’t know. Fuzzy memories of those times.
    Anyway…
    Happy AtoZing!
    Chicky @ http://www.mysteriouskaddu.com

  4. O yes! Bonding such an important thing to build. While, I too don’t have many memories of doing things with my mother, I feel in today’s time it should be something compulsive to do with the kids, given the amount of distractions and technology that has creeped in, and every one having their own life at an early age, it’s important to build that bond!

    Cheers
    BoisterousBee

  5. That’s a wonderful point you have highlighted. Even I remember my mom as busy with activities… I actually got to share a lot with dad than mom, but I guess it was mom’s way of bonding with us… By making life a lot easier for us.

  6. So poignant, these moments in the kitchen, near the garden, before dinner, at bed time. We live in these moments, carrying them in our heart, staying strong, feeling loved. Beautifully put, the story of your loving family.

  7. I completely agree with you. I remember using car rides to and from school and other activities as a major time to bond with my girls. I also used to bond with them while they helped me lay the table or tidy up before visitors came

  8. I had a working mom, yet she integrated spending time with us as seamlessly as your mom the way you’ve mentioned here. I guess we have got accustomed to making to-do lists and working accordingly. But the beauty of these relationships is the spontaneity of it all.

  9. I enjoyed wonderful moments and a strong bond with my Mom. Granted the bonding with our kids is different, but times change and the most important thing is spending time together. Such a warm feeling reading your post, Ramya! Hugs!

  10. This is such a heartwarming post, Ramya. I can relate to this post so well. It was just the same with my mom. We bonded over doing household chores together. And today, we have to consciously decide to spend time with our kids because of the hectic pace of our life.

  11. Very nice Ramya – yes bonding is essential – I was told if I couldn’t Breast feed my son for 2 years he wont bond with me – that i think i over exaggerated though!

Have something to say?