Acceptance- There is Happiness in it! #AtoZChallenge

Surely we humans are different from our pets in many a ways. And if you have ever had one in your life, you would exactly understand what unconditional love is. These simple beings, accept us the way we are, with all our shortcomings. On the other hand, we humans often become judgmental of others, and seldom accept another’s differences in habits and traits.

Growing up with Amma

Growing up in a highly orthodox Tambrahm home, I have been a witness to my Amma’s difficulty in handling my overly religious grandmother. Grandma would be very particular about her rituals and practices, apart from the way the home had to be run. Amma would follow her guidelines, and despite not agreeing with grandmother on many things, I have never found her talk ill about her. My father, a relatively softer person, would seldom support his young bride in front of his mother.

As I grew old enough to understand things, I have often asked Amma, why didn’t she ever make my father discuss issues with his mother? Why didn’t she ever force him to speak boldly to his mother? Call it social conditioning or unconditional love, Amma would tell me that father was a soft-natured person; hence he would never talk back to his mother. Amma had accepted his nature completely, with all his shortcomings, and did not want to force him to react to a situation in way she deemed right.

The profoundness in her words

As a young girl, I would never understand what mom really meant and would often equate it to meekness. But over the years, I have begun to realize how profound her words are. Today, I consciously try to look at things from a perspective that’s different from mine, to accept another for whom and what they are.

Acceptance is not agreeing

You don’t really need to agree to what another has to say or think or does. Acceptance is when you stop judging and expecting a person, to react or behave, in a way which you deem as right! We often tend to write our own versions of a person to suit our ego’s best interest. And this is what as humans we need to change.

Acceptance comes with its share of benefits

As I began putting in the effort towards accepting those I come across in my life, I sensed these changes:

  • I reduced dissension and resentments.
  • It brought me closer to the person, and helped me build a stronger and more fulfilling relationship.
  • I have begun to accept my own self better; my flaws and positive aspects too.
  • I sense that element of calmness within myself
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  1. Acceptance is not the same as agreement, Very true. It’s also true that we have to start with ourselves. For me, as A Christian, it starts with me accepting what God says about me is true, and if its true for me, ,it’s true for everyone, so I try to see people the way he does. It’s not always easy, but its better than the alternative.

    What’s tambrahm? I’ve never heard of it. Is it a form of Hinduism?

  2. It’s something I am learning on an everyday basis from my pet Chikoo. Accepting people for who they are…it is tough, but once you are able to do it, life becomes easier!
    Beautifully done, Ramya!

  3. Great words of wisdom from your Amma, Ramya. Very true. I’ve questioned my Mom several times about things, but sometimes, it takes experience and age to truly understand. Thank you for visiting my post today!

    Vidya at

  4. One of the earliest things I learnt during my depression therapy was to learn to let go of expectations. It was my dependence on them and the outcome that made it a prime factor in my mental illness. Working on it progressively for the last 15 years has helped in so many ways- as a woman, a wife, a parent and a friend. Acceptance of others is an art. We need to cultivate this if we are to stay sane and happy.

    Well written, Ramya.

    1. That’s true shailaja . We get so bogged down in life with expectations ….that we get for ourselves and others. Thanks for dropping in .

  5. I think it’s very important that people realize the importance of what you said – that acceptance is not agreeing.
    And yes, seen many such families where the senior generation bosses upon the in law based on religious beliefs that frankly don’t hold up to logic or reasoning.

    1. Yes a lot of people do confuse the two terms. As much as we should stick to our individuality we should also learn to accept anothers individuality.

  6. We are all the products of our own individual upbringing and experiences so it is completely natural that our views and opinions would be different from others. Accepting others as they are, seeing things from their perspective, letting go is what helps us co-exist peacefully with others and it’s best for our own sanity too.

  7. Acceptance is the first step to letting go. And if things can’t be changed, it’s best to accept them the way they are!

    I guess the main reason why people find it hard to accept things the way they are, is the need for everything to go according to their way. Accepting the fact that not everything can be in one’s control is all-important for peace in life.

    Loved this post, Ramya. 🙂

  8. Acceptance is really key for relationships. you have captured all of it amazingly in the post… But my take on acceptance is bit different. I have put that in form of my story about acceptance. Hope you will like it

  9. Acceptance is not Agreeing, such a powerful, Validating and Freeing statement all at the same time. Thank You for that Ramya. Acceptance does make everything easier.

  10. True by all sense, Acceptance is not Agreeing! Thinking of it, I can relate so easily to almost every phase of my life, we just accept everything from our parents, teachers and in laws – agreeing is totally a different thing.
    Launching SIM Organics Shortly
    *Menaka Bharathi*

  11. You got me when you wrote acceptance doesn’t mean agreement. A much better insight to my introspection. I just loved this post because I could relate to a lot many things you say here.

  12. Beautiful thoughts and so well put. I think our Moms were far wiser than we give them credit for.
    This post has answered so many questions I have been asking myself recently. Thank you for helping me answer them, Ramya.

  13. Acceptance seems to be a popular word today and no matter how many posts have been written on it, there is always something new you can add to your perspective.

    Being able to accept thing and people the way they are is the biggest challenge and yet the most relieving things you can do to yourself!


  14. One thing I seriously lack is acceptance. I find it so hard to accept certain truths or situations or decisions. And I have been told and reminded by dear ones always and everytime. Need to improve and gain that ability.

  15. Accept that which you cannot change, and do so with grace. Accept people without judging them – if we all thought about our situations this way, we could be a happier group as a whole.

  16. In a similar way, forgiveness is not condoning the behavior we forgive. It’s hard to accept injustice; I’m not even sure that it’s right to try. But to accept a person – to see that they have some good in them as well as flaws – is something we should all try to do better. Some Christians say, “Love the sinner, not the sin.” I think that’s laudable. Unfortunately, some “sinners” happen to be very hard to love. It’s a struggle.

  17. A very important lesson there to learn for each one of us.. Mostly it happens that people confuse acceptance with agreement, which are two totally different things..

  18. Hey,
    Your Amma’s thoughts and ways of dealing with everything are great!
    I agree and I think (and hope I’m right!) that I am a very accepting person. I accept when people have views that differ from my own. Just like you said it doesn’t mean I will always agree with them, but I will always give them the chance to have views different than my own.
    Good post!
    ~ Saraallie
    Sara Writes ~ The Crazy Life of a Silly Little Sister

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