Parenting

Acceptance is not Agreeing!

Surely we humans are different from our pets in many a ways. And if you have ever had one in your life, you would exactly understand what unconditional love is. These simple beings, accept us the way we are, with all our shortcomings. On the other hand, we humans often become judgmental of others, and seldom accept another’s differences in habits and traits.

Growing up with Amma

Growing up in a highly orthodox Tambrahm home, I have been a witness to my Amma’s difficulty in handling my overly religious grandmother. Grandma would be very particular about her rituals and practices, apart from the way the home had to be run. Amma would follow her guidelines, and despite not agreeing with grandmother on many things, I have never found her talk ill about her. My father, a relatively softer person, would seldom support his young bride in front of his mother.

As I grew old enough to understand things, I have often asked Amma, why didn’t she ever make my father discuss issues with his mother? Why didn’t she ever force him to speak boldly to his mother? Call it social conditioning or unconditional love, Amma would tell me that father was a soft-natured person; hence he would never talk back to his mother. Amma had accepted his nature completely, with all his shortcomings, and did not want to force him to react to a situation in way she deemed right.

The profoundness in her words

As a young girl, I would never understand what mom really meant and would often equate it to meekness. But over the years, I have begun to realize how profound her words are. Today, I consciously try to look at things from a perspective that’s different from mine, to accept another for whom and what they are.

Acceptance is not agreeing

You don’t really need to agree to what another has to say or think or does. Acceptance is when you stop judging and expecting a person, to react or behave, in a way which you deem as right! We often tend to write our own versions of a person to suit our ego’s best interest. And this is what as humans we need to change.

Acceptance comes with its share of benefits

As I began putting in the effort towards accepting those I come across in my life, I sensed these changes:

  • I reduced dissension and resentments.
  • It brought me closer to the person, and helped me build a stronger and more fulfilling relationship.
  • I have begun to accept my own self better; my flaws and positive aspects too.
  • I sense that element of calmness within myself

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